Its been hardly a month I started driving to office and the experience hasn’t been great so far. In fact its been pathetic. My office is in Noida and with the amazing policing of traffic in the city what else can you expect. Sorry for the loads of cribbing, no offense meant to the Noida-ites reading this… 

Before you enter the city, you must be aware of these rules of the jungle so here I am sharing my experience of the place. Read on to find out what it is–

Rule No. 1
• Rickshaws are the VIP vehicles and the lions of the jungle. They drive in the top lane of every road.
No matter how crazy the traffic is, everyone is behind and has to follow the rickshawala. Honking would do you no good and they wouldn’t clear the way even if it is a bus behind them.

Rule No. 2
• Buses are the next big thing on the road. The huge size of the vehicle is no deterrent for the drivers to drive in a single lane or take care of where their ass is going while taking turns. For that matter they drive like the bikers we see on the road taking crazy turns, changing lanes without paying heed to the traffic behind. Nobody messes with the buses in Noida after all the driver is PROUD to be a GUJJAR. They hardly seem to take notice of the bikes and two wheelers near them and it wouldn’t be a shock to me if they run over one of them. No wonder accidents are a norm in Noida.

Rule No. 3
• Ever had a nightmare of driving in the opposite direction on a one way flyover. Well if you wish to witness your nightmare coming true, Noida is the place to be. From bikes to auto rickshaws, from cars to buses, everyone has the authority to take illegal turns. I am still unable to figure out what the 4000 traffic policemen are doing in the city.

Rule No. 4
• The roads are the next big thing to watch out for. Unexpectedly the main roads are properly constructed. However, Noida is incomplete without any loopholes within. Apparently the road construction authority got confused while making speed breakers and manholes. So they made one speed breaker and then demolished half of it, so while u are jumping on the bumps, others are driving on the road brake free. Not to forget the unexpected incomplete manholes that are found. They are only constructed to kill your shockers and if you are on a good speed perhaps break your axle as well.

Rule No. 5
• No matter what happens and how big the deal is, you shouldn’t EVER mess with a localite in Noida. It doesn’t matter whether you are right and he is wrong coz in the end your safety is all that matters. The localites here are famous for shooting people point blank on trivial matters. This can help you understand the gravity of the situation. In fact yesterday near a famous college in Noida, a person was shot dead because of a small fight he had with a localite here. Now you must be wondering how to spot a localite. Well that’s the easiest part. They all have GUJJAR BOY!! written on their cars in dripping blood font.

I don’t know how good a read it might be for you guys, but trust me I am deeply relieved of my frustration after writing this post.